"3 RING CIRCUS" (My Balancing Act)

By Kathy Williams
Copyright 1999

I know there are a lot of parents out there that works and
has kids, and I have been ask so many times how I manage to
juggling my work and 3 kids. So today's article will focus
on how I manage things (which by the way, has been real
rough for the last 2 months especially). As you will see,
it's not easy at all! Remember these are only things that I
have try to do, but you have to find what works best for you
and your family. And please if you have some great tips,
please share them with us!

Let me start off by saying for those who don't know me. I'm
married and have 3 kids (ages 9,14,17). My husband and I
have always been involved with our kids in everything that
they do, rather it will school, sports, R.O.T.C. and etc. so
we pretty much knows what it takes for us to have to balance
all of it out. (Okay, we used to until the last 2 months).
For some reason or other, I couldn't balance my work and
family as well as I used too, (not that it was perfect or
anything, but I was managing okay) and it was driving me up
a wall, until I discovered what I was doing wrong.(which
meant I was getting to stress out, and forgot about how I
used to do things). So I went back to doing what I knew
best!

It all started backed in June when my kids got out of school
for the summer. My business was already doing pretty good (I
have been doing business online for a few years, but backed
in April I changed my site and everything else around and
then the business really took off),in fact, it was started
to get a little hectic, but nothing that I couldn't handle
(so I thought). Hey that's everyone's dream on the Internet
to have their business doing good. Right? Sure, as long as
it doesn't cause you or your family problems.

I had to begin working more and more on the Internet and
talking on the phone because of my business. Don't get me
wrong, I love what I'm doing, especially helping other
Domestic Violence women..That's why I wrote my book and put
up my new website. That's my passion (besides my kids) and
it always will be! I love helping people, and that will
never change. I just didn't know how to balance everything
out at this particular time. Due to the nature of my
website, I was getting nasty e-mails, threatening phone
calls and etc. which I took care of all of those problems,
but it was still causing a few problems.

Summer was out, the kids wanted to do things, which I didn't
mind at all, it was just trying to find the time to do all
of it. My kids has always came first in my life, and I
didn't want that to change. Well the first few weeks I kept
putting off doing things with the kids, telling them to give
me a hour or so, but guess what, those hours became the next
day. After me doing that a few times, my precious and very
bright 9 year old daughter told me that she was proud of me
for my business and helping people, but she wanted her Mama
back for a while. Talk about a wake up call! She said that
she would work out a schedule so we all could get what we
wanted. :)

Well I decided after that, something had to change, and it
did. I just didn't know that I would be running around like
a chicken with it's head cut off for the next 2 months. :)
But I will say, I was having the best time of my life. Yes I
was doing my business, but not when it would interfere with
the kids, but as you will see, my daughter found a very
creative way for me to do my business and play with her at
the same time. And boy did I learn a lot from her!

At this very same time, my other 2 kids were doing their
activities as well. As most of you know,(from last week's
article) my son just got him a car (one I wasn't happy with
at all), so we were busy trying to teach him how to drive a
5-speed. (he can drive an automatic, but not a 5-speed).
What a trip that was! Note: He took out the fire hydrant in
our yard with the car if that tells you what we have been
going trough. :) My oldest daughter has been in R.O.T.C. at
school everyday so that keeps her busy as well as me having
to go back and forth, plus 2 weeks ago I had to worry about
her being on a Naval Base for a week with the R.O.T.C. (I
didn't get much sleep that week). So anyway, my youngest
daughter wasn't getting to do much because she has severe
Asthma, and she can't play outside since the weather has
been so hot, so she came up with her own ideas of what we
could do. And as you will see, it work out for both of us.

When I had to do my business on the computer, my daughter
would get my make-up bag, comb and brush, fingernail polish,
and my pink foam curlers, and do me all up while I was
working. Of course getting poked in the eye a few times made
me stop typing for a few minutes. LOL Getting soaked with
the spray bottle was a trip in itself, my computer screen
was wet more than I was. The point here is this, my daughter
needed to play with me, and I sometimes needed to get my
work done, so this work out perfect for us. She would do
this for hours, and have a ball doing it. Of course in
return, I had to do her up as well, which I did and will
continue to do.

So here is some of my tips on trying to balance everything:

1. First and foremost thing, don't get so upset when the
house isn't sparkling clean, it doesn't have to be perfect
all the time, and no, the baseboards doesn't have to be
washed down every other day for it to look good. (gees..up
until recently, I can't believe I was doing this)...LOL

2. Use "To Do List". I used these lists for everything now.
In fact, my husband bought me this little neat software
called "Staying Organize" for my computer and it has been a
life saver for me.

3. Carry pen and paper, or maybe even a little tape recorder
everywhere you go for you to used when you come up with
ideas for your business, home, or your personal use. I like
the tape recorder myself. By the way, you might get a lot of
people looking at you when you talk into it at your
Children's Orthodontics appt. LOL Hey what better way than
to talk about your business when they start talking to you
wanting to know what you do for a living..and believe me,
they will.

4. Turn on that answering machine! If you are having family
time, playing with your kids, having dinner, or doing
business on the computer, turn that answering machine on and
let it take those calls for you. That's what it was made
for. Only if it's a call you really have to take, don't!
Return your calls when you can.

5. If you have more than one child, try this idea. For those
Orthodontics, Dentist, and Doctors appts. try to schedule
them to where all your kids are there at the same time.
(hour wise, one right after the other). Sometimes this has
work out great for me, but sometimes it wasn't possible
because of a lot of reason. However, if I couldn't get the
above done, then I will at least make it on the same day.
This way, I had all of it done in one day, and didn't have
to make another trip. Yes can say it wastes a whole day, and
it might be hours between each child, (you can always find
something to do),but look at the time you will be saving by
not having to run back and forth on different days.

6. If you have older kids, enlist their help in helping
around the house and your business. My kids love helping out
in my business, they think it's fun. Of course they don't
like doing laundry or housework (except for the youngest),
but they do help. Also if all possible, don't forget to
enlist your husband help as well. Tip: Remember, your
husband might not clean, cook, or wash the way you do, so
have patience). Took me a long time for that one! (okay..you
got me, I still have problems with this tip)...But I'm
trying!

7. Make out a grocery list, and don't shop but 1 time a
week. You wouldn't believe how much time people waste by
stopping at the grocery store everyday on their way home
from work. I can't stand to grocery shop anyway, so I would
much rather do it only 1 time a week. Make a menu for the
whole week and stick with it if all possible. Write down
things as you run out of them. Keep that grocery list
on-going until it time to go grocery shopping for that week.

Well this was only a few of the tips I had, but hopefully in
some way it will help you. Of course you have to find what
works for you and your family. As all of us parents knows,
"it's very hard to juggle family and work, but somehow we
have to find that "BALANCE"...which isn't easy at times!

If you have any great tips on balancing your family and
work, please send them to me. Thanks

******************

Kathy Williams is the owner of K.D.W. SERVICES
(http://www.kdwservices.com) editor & publisher of BUSYMOM
EZINE (Get your free e-book when you subscribe,) writer and
author of her own articles, and her new just-released
E-book, "I Survived."
(http://www.kdwservices.com/book/book.html)